Pieces of You
by BeautifulDisaster27
Summary: Clare is pregnant alone Adam is left to take care of her.
1. The Loss

Flash back to nine months ago I first found out I was pregnant I was so happy.

"_Clare do you think the results on the test came up" Eli said looking at our bathroom counter in which the pregnancy test lies_

"_I don't know lets check" _

_We held hands as we walked to the counter together. We both looked at it laying there revealing two pink lines. _

"_Clare we're going to be parents" Eli said happily and spun me around. _

"_Now that I know I'm kinda scared we just finished college and we're just starting out." _

"_Don't worry Blue Eyes we're in this for better or for worse remember that." Eli said in between kisses _

"_I know." _

"_I love you" _

"_I love you too" _

"Clare would you like to say some words?" Adam asked sweetly

I looked down at my extremely huge belly and shook my head as Alli held me.

Flash back to seven months ago our third doctors appointment.

"_Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Goldsworthy you're having triplets"_

"_Are you sure?" I asked as I looked at the screen_

"_Clare they're right there" Eli said as he held my hand_

"_Eli I can't believe you're happy about this" _

"_Why wouldn't I be? It's not everyday someone is blessed with triplets"_

"_I love you" _

"_I love you too Clare" _

_Eli kissed me sweetly and chastely_

"_Triplets" _

"_Don't worry I'll be there to help."_

"_I know." _

"Clare are you ok" Alli asked

I nodded as tears started to fall down my cheeks

Flash back to three months ago

"_Would you like to know the sex of your children?"_

"_Of course" I stated happily_

"_You have one boy and two girls"_

"_Eli what are we going to name the girls?"_

"_How about Andrea" _

"_Andie for short so Andie Lynn Goldsworthy" _

"_Ok the next one"_

"_Dannielle?"_

"_Ok Dannielle Elizabeth Goldsworthy" _

"_Sounds good. I love you so much Eli" _

"_I love you so much too Clare" _

"Clare are you sure you don't want to say anything"

I nodded

Flash back two months ago

"_Wow Eli these nurseries are gorgeous" _

"_Thank you Clare I'm glad you like them"_

"_You're welcome I can't believe you put everything together while I was out with Alli" _

"_It didn't take me that long." _

_I looked around the nurseries everything was stocked Eli was so afraid of running out he stocked up on cases of diapers from size newborn to size twelve, wipes were stocked up too about twenty cases in each room as well as the clothes. _

"_Eli did I ever tell you how much of an amazing father and husband you are" _

"_Yes, but I never get tired of hearing it" _

_Eli wrapped his arms around my huge belly and kissed me passionately. _

"_Clare thank you" _

"_For what?"_

"_Sharing this experience with me and allowing me to be a father of not only one baby, but triplets" _

"_Eli there's no one else in the world that I'd rather have these experiences with than you" _

Flash back to two weeks ago.

"_Clare I'm going to work they need me" _

"_Eli I thought you were off since you own the business" _

"_I'm sorry, but they need me to go in. I'll be back soon." _

"_Ok stay for a few more minutes please" _

"_Fine I'll stay for a little longer" _

"_Thank you" I smirked and kissed Eli _

"_Just imagine in three weeks the babies will be here" _

"_And I'll have to have a c-section" _

"_Don't worry Clare you'll be ok" _

"_I know, I'm just afraid." _

"_I'll be there with you I promise." _

"_Eli don't leave" _

"_I won't I'm with you forever and ever Blue Eyes" _

_Eli kissed me sweetly _

"_No I mean please don't go in" _

"_I'm sorry, but I have to I'll be back in an hour tops" _

"_Promise" _

"_Promise." _

"_I love you" _

"_I love you too Mrs. Goldsworthy." _

_Eli kissed me sweetly parting his lips with mine, I followed his movements, he moved his tongue inside my mouth gently gazing his tongue over mine._

"_I gotta go, but we'll continue this later and no looking for your five year anniversary present." _

"_Fine" I groaned _

"_I'll be back in an hour I love you"_

"_I love you too" _

_Riing riing_

"_Hey Eli are you calling to tell me you're coming home half an hour early" I said happily_

"_Mrs. Goldsworthy"_

"_Yes. W-whose this and where the hell is my husband?"_

"_We're sorry he got into an accident at work he was hit by a car that was coming into the garage." _

"Clare it's time to leave do you want to say goodbye?" Alli said sweetly

I walked over to the casket and looked inside. There's my husband just lying there.

"You promised you'd never leave me Eli we need you I need you wake up. Please" I cried.

"Clare sweetie lets go"

I reached into the casket and rubbed Eli's face gently with my thumb his skin was ice cold.

"Adam he promised me he's not leaving me please tell me I'm dreaming" I fell to my knees crying as Adam held me in his arms rocking me back and forth.

"Clare I'm here I'm not going anywhere" Adam said

"I need my Eli, Adam"

"Clare I'm sorry" Adam replied

I sobbed violently into Adam's chest trying to justify what reason God had to take away my Eli, the father of my soon to be born triplets, my husband of five years, my soul mate.

Adam and Alli picked me up as we followed Eli's closed coffin to the hearse. We took my car Adam drove it because my enormous stomach gets in the way.

"I need you Eli" I mumbled

"Clare you're not going to do this alone Adam and I won't let you" Alli stated

When we got to the cemetary I stood in front of an open grave as the pastor prayed.

Black and white roses were going all around and everyone took one I took four one for me, one for my two daughters, and one for my son Elijah Lucas Goldsworthy Jr. and tossed them on Eli's grave one at a time. After I finished I turned to Adam and buried my head in his shoulder.

"Clare how are our grand babies?" CeCe asked

I turned to her she and Bullfrog were both crying and I hugged CeCe desperately as she squeezed back.

"I really thought Eli and I would raise these kids together and we'd be together forever" I cried into her shoulder

"So did I sweetie I thought you two would have a happily ever after no one expected him to be taken so soon. Did you find the anniversary present Eli left?"

"No"

"That's because I have it with me he asked me to hold onto it"

CeCe reached into her pocket and pulled out a jewelry box. I opened it inside was a letter.

_Happy five year anniversary Clare. _

_These past five years of marriage were amazing remember when we met almost nine years ago when I ran over your glasses? You were so adorable and you still are. Who would've thought we'd get married when you were nineteen and me twenty and then expect triplets four years later right out of college? You're the most amazing wife a husband can have and I'm the luckiest man alive because I get to have a family with you. I can't wait for the many, many, many years that lay ahead of us. Come downstairs breakfast is ready and your gift awaits. _

_Love forever and ever _

_Your Eli_

I smirked and cried when reading the note. I looked inside the box there was a necklace, on it was a locked that read "Eli and Clare" with our pictures inside. .

"There's more" CeCe said

She handed me a ring box on it was a piece of paper that read "6 years" I opened it up and engraved of the ring was "Forever yours -Eli". Next was a small box that read "7 years" in side was a pair of diamond earrings.

"Last box" CeCe said

It was a small blue box that read "8 years" I opened it and it there was a bracelet that said "Forever and ever" on the outside.

"He bought me a present for each anniversary a head of time?"

"Up till eight years he's been going shopping every anniversary and buys some things for you and saves them for either birthdays or anniversaries."

I cried and put the ring on my right ring finger it fit perfectly. I looked back at Eli's grave and they were already putting dirt on top of it. I pinched myself.

"Darling this isn't a dream I've been doing that all day and I still haven't woken up" CeCe said

I continued to cry.

"Bullfrog and I will help you as much as we possibly can. The good news is you don't have to work since he owns his own company that just started building new shops all over Canada he was going to surprise you by telling you that."

"My kids have it made thanks to Eli and his hard work. I remember when he first bought that old mechanics shop while he was writing his books. He built that place from the ground up and now it's branching. I'm so proud of him"

"We are too" Bullfrog said in a shaken voice

"Clare it's time to go"

"Stop by anytime you know where we live. Adam moved in with me he's taking a guest bedroom."

Adam guided me to the car and we drove off. I cried as I looked over the jewelry Eli had gotten me. This is now my new reality.

* * *

**I cried while writing this. Please review and let me know if I should continue or not. **


	2. Goodbye is Never Easy

"We're home" Adam said as he parked my car in the garage.

I walked out of the car once he shut off the ignition. I looked over to Morty, put my hand on his hood, and walked leaving my hand glide over his hood.

"Adam can you drive Morty sometimes so he doesn't break down or anything?"

"Sure Clare"

I felt arms come around my waist and I looked over to see Alli.

"I'm here for you Clare" Alli said

"I know"

"Well let's go inside." Adam said

I unlocked the door and headed inside. Everything was the same. I drug myself upstairs and looked in the nurseries. I stopped in Andie's first.

"_Eli I can help you put everything away just tell me what bags go in Danni's room" _

"_Clare I got it just go relax" _

"_Eli you're putting the clothes away at least let me put Danni's clothes away or something I'm tired of relaxing and the babies aren't going to be here for another month" _

"_Well my dear I wanted to stock up on baby clothes just incase" _

"_So you used the time I spent with your mom to go shopping for baby clothes without me and then you expect me to do nothing while you put them away?"_

"_Well I went without you because I know you'd get mad at me for buying so much especially since I bought them some toys too and now I don't have to worry" _

"_Eli you're such a wonderful dad and husband" _

"_You're the most amazing wife a man could find I love you to death Clare"_

"_I love you just the same Eli" _

_Eli put his hands on my belly and all three babies started to kick rapidly. _

"_Don't worry daddy loves you three just as much as he loves mommy" Eli said to my belly _

_Eli stood up and kissed me sweetly and passionately. _

"_Hey Eli how did I let you talk me into having Andrea's room black and baby blue?"_

"_Because while you were at the baby shower I did the other nurseries with black trimmed walls" _

"_Ok"_

_I laid my head on Eli as I started to get tired. _

"They're all complete now all three nurseries you did so I didn't have to."

"Clare why is there a whole ton of baby formula stocked in the cabinets?" Adam yelled

I laughed

"Eli wanted to make sure we had enough" I yelled back

"Didn't he know they expired?"

"Yea they last for like three years before they expire(1)"

"But there's like three or so cupboards full of nothing, but baby formula"

"I know there's more than that though there's some in closet" I yelled back

"Why so much?"

"Eli was afraid of not having any when we needed it you should see the nurseries they're all stocked with diapers, wipes, clothes, shoes, socks, if the babies need it we've got it" I yelled

I walked into my room after looking in all three baby rooms.

"Eli I miss you so much" I said as I rubbed my locket.

I stood up and walked out on the balcony which over looked the entire back yard.

"_Eli, Eli put me down" I giggled as Eli carried me_

"_Come on Clare lets have fun while we still can" _

"_What do you mean while we still can we're only twenty one and twenty two" _

"_I know, but what if I want to start a family soon" _

"_Ok we will" _

"_Oh I'll put you down now hold your breath" _

"_Eli that's not funny I didn't mean for you to throw me in the pool" _

"_I think it's funny plus you look amazing in that bikini" _

"_Eli how about you join me" _

_Eli jumped in and we swam in the pool together. _

I walked into my closet as tears started to fall and I changed out of my black dress into some sweats and sneakers. I walked downstairs and opened the ginormous freezer and took out some ice cream and then walked to get a spoon.

"If you're hungry I can make you food" Alli stated

"I'm fine"

I walked over to the couch and sat down putting my feet beside me I put the carton of ice cream on my belly and turned on the TV. I remember watching something with Eli and I turned on the DVD player to whatever was inside. I began to eat my ice cream as I watched the screen tentatively.

"_Eli I'm getting weird looks from your fans I can't believe I let you drag me here" I said _

"Eli's first book signing that I was forced to tag along to" I chuckled

"_Clare don't worry about it you're my wife I love you plus you're three months pregnant with triplets I don't want you home alone all day plus Alli and Adam aren't home on top of that you still have morning sickness a lot"_

"_I love you too Eli and my belly is showing" _

_A teenage girl walked up to the table and put her book down Eli opened her book, then his marker, sat his hands on the book and looked at her._

"_Who should I make this out to?"_

"_Can you sign 'To Stacy love always Eli Goldsworthy'?" she asked _

"_I'm sorry I cannot sign that the only book I sign that says love always or something similar to that are my wife's books or the ones for my triplets when I start to write children books for them."_

"_Oh I'm sorry can you just sign 'To Stacy from Eli Goldsworthy'?"_

"_Sure" _

_Eli signed the book._

"_Oh by the way this is my lovely wife Clare" Eli said as he handed the girl her book. _

"What are we watching?" Alli asked as she sat next to me

"The first book signing Eli drug me to"

_Another girl came up to the table and I covered my mouth and ran. Eli motioned a worker to him. _

"Why did you just run away from the table?"

"Morning sickness"

_The worker stood by Eli._

"_Follow her please and make sure she's ok, she's got morning sickness" Eli stated to the female worker_

_Eli again got everything ready before he signed _

"_That woman that ran away is she ok?"_

_Eli chuckled _

"_That's my wife she's fine she just has a case of morning sickness" Eli stated _

_The girl's face turned from happy to sad _

"_Who should I make this out to?" Eli asked _

"_Claire" _

"_That's the same name as my wife do you spell it C-l-a-r-e too?"_

"_No it's C-l-a-i-r-e" _

"_Ok Clare with an 'i'." Eli chuckled _

_I walked back to my seat next to Eli and he kissed my forehead. _

"_Feeling any better" _

_I nodded and laid my head down on his shoulder. _

"_Tired?" Eli asked me _

_I nodded _

"_Excuse me" Eli called to a worker_

"_What can I do for you" the worker replied _

"_My wife is tired can I get a pillow?"_

_The worker nodded then left, moments later he came back with a pillow. _

"_Thank you" Eli said as he took the pillow_

_Eli put the pillow on his lap and move my chair closer to his. _

"_Here Clare now you can lie on my lap and sleep" _

_I put my head down on Eli's lap and put my feet on the chair and fell asleep. _

"You seriously fell asleep in front of tons of people at Eli's book signing didn't you?" Alli laughed

"Yea it's funny to watch now when we look back."

_A woman about Eli's age arrived at the table. _

"_Hi Mr. Goldsworthy I am such a big fan of yours and I was so surprised to find out we're the same age. I love your books are you doing a biography yet?" _

"_Yes I've already written it" Eli stated _

"_Do you mind if I get a picture with you after you sing my book" _

_The woman put her book on the counter_

"_Not at all, but my wife was really tired so I got a pillow and told her to rest her head on my lap. She's out cold" Eli chuckled "I guess that's what I get for making her come with me" _

"_Why did you make her come?"_

"_We just found out she's pregnant with triplets and I don't want to leave her home alone. So who should I make this out to?"_

"_No one you can just sign it" _

"_Ok" _

_Eli signed the woman's book and took a picture with her. _

"The things that you and Eli have been though together" Alli stated

"Hey some of them were his fault for instance the book signing"

"Remember the time when you were four month pregnant and Eli told you he had a surprise for you and it was dinner on a boat"

"Yea that didn't go over well I got sea sick due to the pregnancy, but he did make an effort and it was really sweet of him."

"Remember the time at your wedding when Eli decided to dance with you and the chicken dance came on and we all made the two of you do the dance"

"I pulled you in as I recall and we looked like idiots"

"We used to do that dance all the time Clare-bear"

"Yea Alli when we were like 5"

"I still can't believe Eli got Dead Hands to play at the wedding"

"Well it was the one thing he wanted so I couldn't say no"

I finished the last bit of ice cream and went to throw out the container, then got a new one.

"Remind me to thank Eli when he comes home for stocking up on the ice cream"

"Clare are you sure you're ok?"

I looked down at my huge belly and rubbed it.

"I'm afraid Alli I keep telling myself Eli's at work or another signing and when reality hits I don't know what to do"

"Clare, Adam and I are here for you we're not letting you go through this alone."

"I know" I cried as I sat on the couch

"Clare-bear it's going to be ok"

Alli pulled me into her.

"No it's not Alli, Eli's gone it's not going to be ok, nothing's going to be all right again."

"Shh Clare I'm here" Alli whispered as she cried with me.

"Alli what do I tell the kids? Do I just say daddy and mommy were very much in love, but God took daddy away from us?"

"I'm not sure, but we'll talk about that when the time comes."

"Alli what about when kids play with their father or something they'll be left out"

"I'm pretty sure Adam will be there for them"

"I wish nothing ever happened to my Eli, why does God have to be so cruel? There's a saying that everything happens for a reason, but what reason does God have to take Eli?"

I hate my new reality.

* * *

**1) my mom bought baby formula the other day and the experation date is Dec 03, 2013**

**Please Review.**


	3. Labor

**Ok so I was told by a fan "Please don't let Eli die" and I got an idea from reading the book "The Vampire Diaries volume 2: The Fury and Dark Reunion" Please let me know how you like it. **

* * *

I woke up at 3am with Braxton Hicks Contractions which were normal to me. I looked over to see Alli asleep beside me and I got out of my huge bed without waking her. I walked down stairs and made some tea.

"_Clare what's wrong are you ok?" _

"_Yea Eli I just have Braxton Hicks Contractions again they'll go away soon" I said as I rubbed my belly_

"_How about you relax at the bar instead of pacing around the living room and I'll make you some tea?"_

"_Sure that sounds wonderful"_

_Eli helped me to the bar in the kitchen and I sat on a chair, Eli kissed my temple as he waited for the water to boil._

"_Clare how long have you had the contractions?" _

"_Not long they'll come and go when they please which is how I know they're fake." _

"_Ok, but if you still have them after you finish the tea we're going to the hospital"_

"_Eli I'm sure everything is fine." _

"_I know, but I like to make sure"_

"_I love you" _

"_I love you too" _

_I drank the tea that Eli made and sure enough the contractions stopped. _

The sound of the kettle going off broke my trans and I'm jolted back into my Eli-less reality. I reached into the cabinet to grab a glass and a sharp pain went through my abdomen causing me to drop the glass.

"Damnit" I mumbled

I tried to pick up the glass, but failed.

"Clare are you ok?" Adam asked as he seen me

"Yea I have fake contractions and one of them hurt a lot and caused me to drop a glass"

"Don't worry I'll get it"

"Do we need to go to the hospital?" Alli asked

"No Alli I'll be fine"

I gripped the counter in pain with one hand and rubbed my belly with the other.

"Clare what's going on?" Alli asked as she ran to my side

"These stupid Braxton Hicks Contractions are getting fucking worse." I said through my teeth

"Ok well hold on I'll be right back"

Alli went away for a moment while Adam cleaned up the broken glass. I started to walk around a little as I continued to rub my belly. I just got in the living room and the door bell rang. Who the fuck stops by at 3 am? I answered it regardless.

"Hello" I said as I rubbed my belly

"Wow Clare you're huge" Jenna stated

"Gee thank you Jenna and hi KC"

I moved aside and let them come in figuring Alli called them and continued to walk.

"_Eli the babies are kicking for the first time come feel" _

_Eli knelt in front of me, put his hands on my belly to feel the babies kick, then he looked up at me and smiled._

"Wow your house is big so where's Eli?" Jenna asked

I broke down and cried. Alli and Adam rushed to my aid.

"Clare it's ok."

"It's not ok I fucking hate this Eli should be here with me" I cried

Jenna rubbed my back and Alli shot her a death glare.

"I'm in fucking pain and he promised to go through this with me. Alli he promised me and now all I have left of the memories and thoughts of what could have been" I cried

Adam took KC and Jenna away.

"Clare it's ok Adam and I aren't leaving you."

I stood up and felt another strong sharp pain in my stomach signaling another contraction. I squeezed tightly onto Alli's hand.

"What another contraction Clare?"

I nodded

"Adam grab a car out of the garage we need to get to the hospital, Jenna get my cell and call Clare's doctor it's the only doctor in there, KC come get Clare while I get her suitcase" Alli shouted out orders.

Everyone scattered around and I was held up by KC and he walked with me to the car.

"So Clare do you know what you're having?"

"Two girls one boy"

"You're having triplets?"

I nodded and felt another contraction.

"Ok I called the doctors" Jenna said as she ran over to KC and I.

"Clare I'm sorry for the way I treated you in the past"

"KC don't worry about it I found Eli and he was the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't regret anything except having to live without him."

"It'll be ok KC and I can help if you want." Jenna said

Alli soon joined and Adam started up a minivan as I started to get in.

"All three car seats are in the back of it"

I squeezed KC's and Jenna's hands as another contraction came on. I realized I, Clare Diane Goldsworthy, am indeed in labor. I entered the van and everyone else did the same.

"Did we get everything?" Adam asked

"Clare's in the back with KC and Jenna and we have Clare's suitcase in the trunk. We're good" Alli said

Adam pulled out of the garage and we took off to the hospital.

When we got to the hospital I was moved to a wheel chair and greeted by Dr. Borne as I was being wheeled through the hospital to Labor and Delivery.

"So how far apart are the contractions?"

"Every five minutes" Adam said

"Ok well lets get Mrs. Goldsworthy in a room"

Once we got into a room I had to change into a gown which Jenna helped me since Alli wanted to talk to Dr. Borne. After I got dressed Jenna and Adam helped me to my bed.

"Good morning Mrs. Goldsworthy do you happen to be related to Eli-"

"Say his name and we'll kill you" Adam stated

"So I'm just here to place monitors on your belly" the nurse said

I moved the blanket down and my gown up to reveal my belly, she placed two monitors on me.

"One will keep track of the babies heartbeats and the other will keep track of your contractions." She said and then left.

"Ok Clare so I talked to the doctor and he's going to put a sign on your door"

"Ok" I said not even caring about anything.

"Someone please tell me I'll be ok"

"Clare-bear everything will be ok I promise." Alli said

"And if it's not ok Alli and I will fix it" Adam stated

"And KC and I will help as well"

"Thank you guys"

Alli moved over to the machine that the monitors were hooked up on.

"So Clare it says here you're going to have another really strong contraction soon"

"Alli please don't tell me that" I said through my teeth as the pain hit me.

Dr. Borne entered the room.

"So Clare let's see how you're progressing" she looked over at the machines. "Well you're definitely in labor, we'll have a nurse bring hook an IV up to you."

"Someone give me their hand so I can squeeze it when a nurse comes" I said as another contraction came on

KC held his hand out I looked up at him.

"I'm used to it I went through this when Jenna was in labor she squeezed my hand the entire time"

The nurse came in and I grabbed KC's hand I let go once the nurse put the IV in my arm.

"Thank you KC" I said

"You're welcome"

"You two can go home and sleep if you want I'm sure you're busy with Christian and all." Alli said

"No my mom has him tonight which was how we were able to come." KC said

"It's going to be pretty boring here, but you two are welcome to stay."

"So Clare how are we feeling?"

"I'm in a lot of pain and when am I getting my c-section?" I asked

"Not until you're father along in your labor"

"Is there anything she can have for the pain?" Adam asked

"Yes we have bridge medicine it'll take eighty percent of the pain away and put her to sleep"

"Can I have that?" I asked

"Sure let me get a nurse"

"KC came back and gave me his hand again. It turned out that I didn't need KC's hand after all because the only thing the nurse did was hook it up to the IV that's already in my arm. I fell asleep once the medicine kicked in.

_I walked to a field, Eli was in the middle of it sitting on a picnic blanket with some food, two champagne glasses, and a bottle of wine. _

"_Eli you know I can't drink I'm pregnant" I said as I walked over to him_

"_Not anymore" _

_I looked down and I noticed I didn't have a belly. I felt sad as I sat down._

"_Don't worry they're fine." Eli said happily and he held me in his arms. _

_I smiled _

"_I miss you Clare" _

"_I miss you too Eli" I said as I nuzzled myself in his arms. "I love you so much Eli" _

"_I love you so much too and I'm glad Adam and Alli are helping you" _

"_Me too" _

_Eli leaned in and kissed me. _

"_Clare I have to go when you wake up tell the kids I love them." _

"_Eli don't go" _

I was jolted awake when I heard someone calling my name, I felt tears coming down my cheeks, when I went to rub them I realized I had a mask on my face.

"Clare you're finally awake it's been hours" Adam said

I looked over to Adam and he was dressed in scrubs from head to toe.

"Why am I in a mask and where are my babies?"

"The mask is on you so you wouldn't wake up until we needed you to and they're getting cleaned up"

I heard really loud screaming and moments later I was given one of my children.

"This is your daughter she's 5 pounds and nine ounces."

I looked at her and she was gorgeous her eyes were close, but her hair was wavy and brown.

"Hi Danielle" I said

"Dannielle?" Adam asked

"She just looks more than a Dannielle than and Andrea"

"Oh"

Adam was pulled away leaving me with my baby.

"Hi Danni daddy sends his love from heaven" I cried.

Danni was sleeping in my arms when Adam came back with a screaming baby. He took Danni away and put the baby he had in my arms the baby stopped crying once I held him..

"Clare meet your son"

I looked down my baby boy looked just like Eli only he had light brown hair.

"Hi little Eli daddy loves you" I cried.

Alli walked over to us with another baby, sat next to me, and leaned over so I could see her. She had dark brown hair and looked more like me.

"Hi Andrea daddy loves you too" I said to her.

Moments later all three babies were taken away from us, I was moved into a different bed and taken back to my room.

I looked around and noticed my room was totally different.

"They put us in the Maternity Ward" Adam stated

"Thanks are they letting you both stay?" I asked

"Yes I told Dr. Borne what's going on and we're both able to stay by your side plus when the head nurse objected my evil side came out and changed her mind" Alli stated. I giggled a little.

"Clare how do you know Eli sends his love and that you had the babies when you woke up?" Alli asked

"Because in my dream I was with Eli only I wasn't pregnant, he told me the babies were ok, he misses me, loves all four of us, and to send his love."

Alli mouthed an "Oh" and Adam nodded.

"Are you hungry Mrs. Goldsworthy" A nurse asked

"No I'm actually not. I'm just tired.

"Ok we'll bring in two cots and let you sleep"

"Thank you" I said to the nurse then turned to Adam and Alli "Thank you both for being there."

"You're welcome, Adam and I sent KC and Jenna home, but they'll be back tomorrow." Alli said

"Ok"

"Clare you can go to sleep don't worry about us you've had a rough day" Adam stated

I fell asleep.

"_Welcome back Clare" _

"_Hi Eli" _

_I walked towards Eli in a field and joined him._

"_The babies are beautiful and I told them you love them." _

"_I know" _

_Eli kissed my temple. _

"_How about we cuddle and fall asleep like we used to?" _

_I nodded, kissed Eli, and laid down on his chest._


	4. Letting Go

I woke up to babies crying. I looked over to see my little angels. Alli and Adam each had one. I picked up Danni and she was so cute. I looked over their charts as I got a bottle for Danni. Little Eli was the biggest he's 21inches and 6 pounds even both girls were 19 inches and 5.9 pounds.

"Are you ok?" Alli asked as I held Danni

"Yes I'm fine I'm just going to make her a bottle." I stated

"Here why don't you take little Eli and I'll take Danni" Adam stated

I gladly obliged after not being able to hold my son at all for who knows how long it's been since I gave birth.

"Hi Eli" I cooed

"Alli what time did I go to sleep?" I asked as I noticed the IV was no longer in my arm

"A few hours ago why?"

"Because the clock says it's midnight and I don't know what today is"

"Today's Saturday we're going home tomorrow." Alli said gently

"What did I do today?" I asked

Adam and Alli looked at each other

"Well today you took pain medications that make you really drowsy so that's why you couldn't remember anything, we talked to KC and Jenna, you took care of all three babies just not at the same time, you ate all meals, showered, talked to Dr. Borne" Alli said sweetly

I nodded and looked to Eli, he looked up to me his eyes dark blue, his father's face, his gentle touch as he grabbed my finger. I looked at him and saw only Eli my Eli who is now gone.

"_Eli can we sleep now?" I said begging for Eli to shut out the lights _

"_Just a minute I'm almost done this page" Eli said back as he gently rubbed circles on my shoulder_

"_You've been reading for hours what are you reading exactly" _

"_Your pregnancy book I want to know exactly what you're going through" Eli stated _

"_I'll get you a pregnancy belly tomorrow can we just go to sleep?"_

_Eli chuckled "I don't think I'd like walking around as a pregnant guy, but I might just take you up on that offer" _

"_Eli I was joking" _

"_I know, but when I told you I want to be here for you throughout everything I meant I want to know what you're going through and possibly experience some of them" _

"_Eli you don't need to wear a pregnancy belly" I stated _

"_I finished the page we'll go to bed" _

_Eli kissed my forehead, shut his book, turned off the light, got situated causing me to get comfortable again, then we relaxed and went to sleep. _

"I'm here to take out your IV Mrs. Goldsworthy" a nurse stated

I put Eli on my lap and held his bottle in his mouth with my free hand as my IV was being taken out.

"You'll be released tomorrow" the nurse stated before she left.

I picked up my son and looked him over, he's now sleeping, he looks so peaceful. I burped him and laid him back in his hospital crib.

"Eli looks so much like Eli minus the hair and the eyes" I stated

"All of the girls are going to fawn over him" Alli said

"I think the nurses already are" Adam chuckled.

"I'm tired I'm going to go back to sleep"

"We are too once we lay down these sleeping angels"

"_Hi Eli I missed you and your son looks just like you minus the eyes and the hair" I said walking over to him_

"_I know" _

"_Eli can't I just stay here with you forever?"_

"_No my dear you cannot"_

"_What about my dreams will I be able to dream about you everyday like this"_

"_I'm sorry, you won't be able to I'm here because you need me to help you let go of me, you will move on soon and shortly this world you've created will sadly come to an end" Eli said sadly as he kissed my head_

"_But Eli I won't move on I refuse to let someone else become the father of my kids, I refuse to let you go" I cried _

"_Clare it's ok, though your dreams may stop once you leave tomorrow, remember I'll always be in your heart no matter what" _

"_I love you Eli" _

"_I love you too Clare" _

"_Eli, I don't want to move on with someone new" _

"_Don't worry Clare I don't know much about your future, but I do know you'll definitely get over me as for you moving on with someone else, that's your choice." _

_I nodded into Eli's chest _

"_I'll always be watching over you" _

"_Promise?"_

"_Promise even when you think I'm not there I will be" _

"_You better be so does this mean that this is my last night with you?"_

"_I'm afraid so my dear" _

_I turned around and gripped Eli's waist. _

"_I will never forget you and I love you so damn much it hurts Eli" _

"_I know I love you just the same and you're my everything you always were" _

_I nodded into Eli's chest as I started to cry. _

"_Clare remember the times that we've shared the good and the bad I'm everywhere"_

_I nodded "How will I know"_

"_I'm the sun in your hair, I'm the shadow on the ground, I'm the whisper in the wind, I'll be there till the end, I'm in your heart, I'm not leaving you" _

_I kissed Eli and we cuddled together for one last time. I know now this is the last dream I will have of him holding me. _

_"I love you" I said, I couldn't say it enought I'd shout it to the moon if it meant bringing my Eli back, but I know nothing will bring him back_

_"I love you too Clare forever and ever" _

_"Forever and ever then more" _

_Eli nodded and placed a kiss upon my head. _

_

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_

**Please Review and the lines that Eli told Clare "I'm the sun in your hair..." came from a country song my mom had on which isn't my cup of tea, but it made me think of this story so I used it. If you want information about the song let me know.**


	5. VOTE!

I made a poll for this story on my profile I found a way to bring Eli back to life. Got the idea from some boring Soap Opra my mom was watching as I was reading a book that I might make an EClare story off of. Ok enough with my rambling and GO VOTE! Should Eli come back or not? The choice is yours (only valid if you vote on my profile.)


	6. Splitting

I'm starting another story for those of you who want Eli to come back and I will continue this story as is for those of you who don't want Eli back. The one where Eli is back is called "Together Forever."


	7. Going Home

**Disclaimer: I Do Not own Degrassi in any way. **

**A/N: Adam is not a FTM in here he is a strictly a guy. This is for those of you who did not want Eli back. Please enjoy.**

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I woke up to Eli's cries. I picked him up and the minute I did Danni started. So I sat her in my bed wrapped up in blankets.

I changed, made two bottles, and fed both babies in my bed praying that Andie didn't wake up and luckily she stayed quiet long enough to feed Danni and Eli, but woke up once I laid them down.

"Good morning Clare how are you feeling?" a young nurse said as she walked into my room. She looked like she was my age.

"I'm doing good."

"That's good. I'm sure your ready to take these precious gifts home with you."

I smiled faintly when I remembered home and everything there. I got a text from Eli's publisher saying one of the books he sent her three weeks before he died just got published and his autobiography as well as the children's books are still on hold to get published.

"Are you ok?" the nurse asked

I nodded slowly and started to cry.

"Is there something I can get you, anything you want just name it."

I smiled faintly and giggled. "Thank you, but that's impossible."

"Surely nothing's impossible."

"You can't bring him back."

She moved and sat on my bed.

"Who dear?"

"My husband I'm sure you've heard of him Elijah Goldsworthy." I announced

"He died?" She said as if she didn't know

I nodded.

"Two months ago."

"He just came out with a new book-"

"Written months ago, that's the thing he'll write, then hand the copy to the publisher, and it won't get published till months later. They're waiting on my ok to publish his children books and his autobiography is to be published in two months, they want me to add to it."

"He was such a great writer I've met him a few times and he seemed so full of life."

"That's my Eli, though he always dressed emo he was always so happy much like in his stories."

"I always wondered why he dressed like that."

"It was his style, he even drove a hearse named Morty."

"I thought those were just rumors."

I giggled

"Those were fiction Morty's parked in my garage. He was Eli's baby, until he found out I was pregnant, then it was these three. Did you meet Eli at book signings?"

"Yea he took a picture with me he was sitting down you were asleep in his lap." She giggled

"He forced me to go." I admitted

"I was so jealous I thought that him being married was a rumor too. You could tell he loved you very much."

"I know, we've been in love for eleven years."

"That long."

I nodded and smiled. "Eli first told me he loved me on Valentine's Day when I was fifteen. We got married when I was nineteen and were married for eight years."

"That's a long time."

I started to cry. "I thought we'd be together forever."

All three babies started to cry.

"Wanna help?" I asked seeing that Alli and Adam were still sleeping. They mainly took the night shift.

"Sure"

I picked up Danni and handed her to the nurse.

"Oh I'm Louise." The nurse stated as I put Danni in her arms

"Clare, which you probably know from Eli."

"He talked about you when you weren't at his signings. He loved you dearly."

"This is Danni and I love Eli just the same, I always will."

I changed Eli's diaper and he fell back asleep right after, then I took Andie. I changed her and made her a bottle. Louise and I talked for a little and then she left. Soon enough all three babies were asleep and I started to write my part of Eli's biography as asked.

_I know Eli has told his life in here, how we met, how we fell in love, his accomplishes, he hopes, his dreams, but what he didn't tell you is how wonderful of a husband he was. He was my everything. Eli was the most amazing man I have ever met. I am proud to be called his wife even after his passing. I have the three most beautiful children thanks to him and I sincerely wish he could be here as they grow up. I loved Eli with all my heart, body, and soul. I hope his work has touched you and continues to touch you just like he's touched me everyday we were together. I thank God for those eight years of having known and loved him._

_~ Clare Diane Goldsworthy _

_Wife of the late Elijah Goldsworthy _

_Mother of our three children Danielle Elizabeth, Andrea Lynn, and Elijah Liam Goldsworthy Jr. _

Once I finished writing my small paragraph I closed the book as a few tears started to fall. Of course Eli being Eli, failed to mention Julia, his hoarding problems, and other dark secrets of his past he doesn't want anyone to know. He did mention being bullied for being different, as well as him, Adam and I being misfits.

Once Adam started to hang out with Eli and I he automatically became bullied as well. The three of us stuck together ever since Adam was the gentle type he only got angered if you angered him, but rarely fought back, Eli fought back no matter what. I was in the middle I don't believe in violence, but Eli and Adam were simply Eli and Adam.

"Good afternoon Clare are you ready to go home soon?" The doctor asked

"Of course." I said happily.

"I'm just going to have to take some blood from the babies just to see if they're ready and if everything looks ok you'll be heading home today."

Once the doctor took blood from the three they all started crying which woke Alli and Adam up. They both took a baby and we each calmed them. I had received permission to get them dressed and ready to have their picture taken before we left.

"Ok so Adam are you up for changing little Eli into his suit?" I asked as Adam held Eli

"I'm nervous, but I'll try it."

"I'm ready to change Danni" Alli announced as she took out my small suitcase and put it on my bed.

I rummaged through it with Andie in her crib and took out the three outfits for each of the babies. Andie and Danni would wear a black and red dress with white stockings and red shoes, Eli had a suit with a red tie, white socks, and black shoes. Once the babies were dressed the photographer came in and took pictures, I was in some with them. After the photographer left the doctor came in.

"Well Mrs. Goldsworthy all we need you to do is sign these papers the triplets are healthy and ready to go home and so are you."

I gladly took the papers and signed them. I went into the bathroom with Adam's help and my clothes. I quickly changed out of my hospital gown and into a black pair of skinnies, and a black tee with a red trim to better match my babies, I put on black flats as well.

"Ready?" I asked once I stepped out of the bathroom.

"We need help." Alli said as her and Adam tried to buckle the car seats.

"Here I'll show you."

I instructed them on how to buckle the babies in and then I checked the babies ankles when a nurse arrived.

"I need to escort you out and take off the ankle bracelets." she stated

I nodded as a wheelchair was being bought in for me and a giant moving table which I am assuming is for the babies and my belongings.

"Ok it's one pm and you're all set is anyone getting your car because I am not allowed to let you drive."

"Adam do you still have the keys?" I asked

"Right here." he said pulling out the keys.

"We're ready."

The nurse wheeled the giant table with my babies as Alli pushed me, Adam had run ahead of us as so he could get the car. It didn't take us long to get outside. It's nice out as to be expected for the nice September weather. When Adam came around with the car, we all hooked up the infant carriers into the base making sure they snapped in tightly, once they did Adam threw all of our belongings in the back, got in, and we drove off.

"Adam I want Eli to see the kids before we go home." I announced as I sat in the way back of the car.

Adam nodded and minutes later we were at the cemetery parked near Eli's grave. Adam took Eli and Andie while Alli took Danni carrying them in their infant carriers. We all walked to Eli's tombstone and once there Alli and Adam placed the babies down as I kneeled.

"Hi honey meet your kids Danielle, Andrea, and Elijah. I named him after you and I use the nicknames as well." I looked over to the babies who were still sleeping. "Kids meet your dad he miss you all very much and he loves you just the same" I choked out as tears started to fall. "I love you Elijah." I said softly and touched his tombstone.

I nodded while I got to my feet letting Adam and Alli know I was ready to leave.

"I miss you bro" Adam stated as he picked up both Eli and Andie

"I hate the fact that Clare's here without you." Alli said coldly causing me to glare "But I know it's not your fault I just hope the guy that killed you is being severely punished or I might have to intervene."

I nodded to her and we all got ready to leave again. The ride home took half an hour which I fell asleep during. When we got home Adam again took Eli and Andie while Alli took Danni. I opened the door and inside waiting for us were none other than CeCe and Bullfrog.

They were both so excited to see us they burst into smiles and each took a baby. I however needed sleep, I went into my room after saying my hellos and asking permission to sleep, and fell into a deep slumber.

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**Please Review I opened another poll on my profile as well. **


	8. End: Moving On

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi and though I don't think I made it clear Adam is full on guy. **

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed the story.**

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It's been six years since Eli's died and things have gotten a better, the kids are in school, I don't think of him everyday, but I do remember everything about him from how he made me feel each and every time we were together, each and every date we had, and everything in general. All though Eli isn't part of my future he will always be a part of my heart and I will continue to grow with everything Eli has taught me.

"Mommy it's breakfast time." Eli called as I folded mine and Adam's clothes and put them away in our room.

"Coming baby boy." I yelled back

Eli looks just like his dad did, all though he calls Adam "dad" in fact they all do they know Eli as "daddy". We visit him from time to time and sometimes the kids cry, but Adam's always been there he's even potty trained Eli which was good because I don't have the male part needed to do that.

I went downstairs after getting dressed into nice clothing. The table was already set and the kids were running around to their seats. I stood near the table and watched as they took their seats. Adam walked out of the kitchen and kissed me on the cheek as he carried a big plate of pancakes to the table.

"Clare time to eat." Adam said I smiled at him as he put food on everyone's plate.

"Dad I love you so much just for making the chocolate chip pancakes." Andie said

"Wow I thought you loved me either way." Adam chuckled I giggled as I sat at the table.

"Dad you know what I meant. Tell him mom." Andie whined

"Hey I'm not getting into it." I giggled

"We love you dad." Danni chimed

"Thanks for making breakfast dad." Eli said

"You're welcome. So for Father's Day I was thinking we would see your daddy." Adam said

"And we could give him his Father's Day gift too!" they all exclaimed

Adam and I nodded as we ate.

"Don't worry dad we have yours already planned out you're going to love it." Danni said

"You kids didn't have to do anything for me." Adam said even though he says that every year he knows the kids will go against it.

"We know you're not our real dad and that daddy is, but you're still our dad." Eli said

"You helped mommy raise us." Andie stated

"What they're trying to say is you're still our dad to us and we love you and so does mommy."

Adam and I smiled at each other from across the table as we finished breakfast.

I still can't believe how the kids have turned out. Eli is the spitting image of his father, Andie looks just like me, while Danni is a combination of the two she has hazel eyes a perfect mixture of blue and green. I wouldn't trade the three of them in for anything. I know that Eli's looking over us and smiling I some times feel him put my hand in Adam's I can tell just by the touch on my skin I'll always remember his touch.

"Mom lets go." Andie said as she ran to the door.

"We're going to the mall." Danni said

I looked over to Eli and Adam and they both groaned. I giggled and got the keys.

"Ok I'm coming." I said

I watched everyone run out to the car as I took a look around the house. It's still the same.

"I miss you Eli." I whispered "Thank you for everything."

"Clare it's time to go the kids are getting anxious." Adam said sweetly as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my temple.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." I giggled

I closed the door, Adam and I walked hand in hand as we walked to the car.

"_I'm so happy I was able to have you move on with Adam. Clare I love you and the kids I'll always be watching you and smiling." _I heard in Eli's voice and I felt sad yet happy at the same time.

"I love you too Eli and so do the kids thank you for everything no one can take your place." I mumbled as I got into the car.


End file.
